After the Cross

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:1-2

To continue with the theme of the recent articles, I wanted to discuss what’s next. We have walked the journey to the Cross and accepted Christ and have been baptized for our rebirth. Now what?

To start I want to reflect for a moment over Galatians 6 for a moment. Each of us have been caught up in a sin that we cannot seem to break free from. Paul talks about his affliction of the flesh and Peter tells us about the things that he wishes he would do he does not, but the things he desires not to do is what he ends up doing instead.

Galatians gives us some instruction on how to help our family with this cycle, but I think of a bigger thing with this verse. I mean this verse can go down to someone that has a habit of telling white lies to allowing his thoughts dwell on sinful desires a bit too much. Many times we are able to forgive the person that is having this issue and able to take up the advice in Galatians 6 and gently restore the person.

What if the sin they were caught up in was something “more” than lust driven thoughts? What if it were as extreme as Rape? What if it was Murder? What about Armed Robbery? Can you or I gently restore that person? Well Jesus calls to us to do the same thing in these cases as well. Sin is sin, it’s black and white. There are no varied degrees of sin, you have sinned or you have not sinned.

But we have a hard time not putting these sins on a scale. Cannibalism certainly seems a lot worse to the human mind and to me than telling your friend that you were at the mall instead of at your house when they called and you didn’t feel like talking. But lying is sin. Cannibalism would certainly be a sin, and well sin is sin.

This mindset that there are sins larger than others is a hard thing to get beyond. There are so many emotions that weigh into the process. As human beings the more fear that something puts into our hearts makes whatever it is worse than something that we don’t really fear. Stealing a bottle of water is a lot less scary than a home invasion.

It’s only human, but for us to start looking at what is next for us, we have to start realizing that sin is sin, and grace is grace. If we are saved by grace for the totality of our sin, why cannot someone else be reconciled by the same God that gave you forgiveness? If he sees all sin as sin, and has informed us of this fact, how can we not accept that?

If you have committed the least of these then you have committed the greater as well. All of us have committed rape, murder, and idolatry in God’s eyes based on this one passage. Is that taking the passage out of context a bit? Perhaps, but I don’t think I am taking it too far out of context there.

Jesus was proving a point with similar things. He was proving that we cannot be saved by the Law that only Grace could save us. We all fell short of the Law, and that’s why he came and died for us. We have already accepted that forgiveness and grace from him. We met him at the cross and were baptized in his blood that washed us clean.

What’s next? Allowing ourselves to forgive ourselves and begin our walk with Christ. Before we can love others as we love ourselves, we have to actually love ourselves. For some people that will be harder than others. Some of us love ourselves a little too much and that just means we have to love others a lot more in the process.

This was something that was particularly hard for me to do. Forgive myself for all the people that I had hurt and all that I had done against Christ and his people. All the lives that I had touched in a harmful way and being a tempter, making people question everything that they thought they knew to draw them into darkness.

As a Satanist it was my goal to build up a base of followers that was able to tear down the grip that God has on the souls of the world. Christianity is the number one religion in the world, and I wanted to tear it all down. During my time as a Satanist, many people that I had worked with had committed suicide or spent time in mental hospitals.

The fact that I blasphemed God’s name daily and God said it is forgotten, I love you anyway. That kind of love is amazing. God loves us to the point that no matter how far you have drifted from Christ he will open his arms and welcome you home. That love is what drove me back into his arms and drove me to make life changes to ensure that I did not find myself back in that dark place again.

But how can someone that now has morals forgive himself for that kind of harm. I cannot help but feel that I am responsible for the suicides of people that I was teaching. How do you get past that? How do you forgive yourself for that? One day at a time, embracing God’s love and his mercy. It is through his grace and his love that I have been resurrected.

The man that I once was is long dead, but the memories are still there. My body and soul is marred with scars, scars are wounds that have healed but have left a mark. Khalil Gibran says this about scars, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” Thomas would only believe that Christ had returned from the dead after he saw the scars on the wrists of Christ.

Remember that it is not the scars that are important; it is the fact that those wounds are healed. God is a God that heals our wounds. But not every wound heals to the point that there is no scar. Through these scars you have your story and testimony. An abusive relationship leaves scars on both people. We walk around with perfect masks hiding the numerous scars that we have on our hearts and souls.

If we focus too much on that and not the fact that they are forgiven, and work daily to allow ourselves to be transformed by the Holy Spirit and forgive ourselves, then what point do those scars have? They will just be a friendly reminder of the times that you have failed.  The greatest way we can use these reminders is going back to Galatians 6. Remember your scars and use them to help someone else with their restoration.

The deeper the scar the longer it hurts and the more tender it is. You remember the pain caused by that scar and you now have strength by coming through the other side of that wound. You survived and have power in your scars if you choose to use it. Allow these wounds to heal and become scars then use these scars to help others with similar wounds.

Helping others heal and showing love to others is fulfillment of Jesus’s new commandments to us. What’s next? Many of us have a lot of healing that we have to work through. Others of us have stories to tell of God’s grace and mercy. Others of us just need to love on people to make sure they know that Christ is not point at you with a hot poker to burn you for every wrong that you have done.

What you do with your scars is up to you. If you just want to use them as reminders of things not to do again if great. If you want to use them to help others, that is great. What Jack didn’t realize in Fight Club was that he already had scars. So what can you do with your scars?

“There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.” Harry Crews

http://GodForgives.Us

Reflection: Looking at your chains.

“Let us tear off their chains and free ourselves from their restraints.” Psalm 2:3

Recently I returned home for a visit. The visit was planned to revitalize my heart and soul and sometimes all you have to do in order to get away from the woes troubling you is return to your roots and have some quiet time with the Lord. The trip was really good for me; just what the soul needed.

On this trip, without realizing it when we planned it, I passed by the place I was first saved and baptized. It had been 19 years since those days. Now when you look back it’s always a dangerous thing if not done with care. We are warned all through the bible to not look back only look to the Lord and where your feet are being lead. Once you are bathed in the blood of God the person you once were is dead.

We humans have an odd habit of visiting with the dead. We visit people we miss and loved, how many times do we visit the person we once were like this? All the time you hear stories of “Glory Days” remembering fun things or events, but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about. I’m more talking about visiting with your old self like visiting the dead.

How many times have you visited a grave and talked to the grave in hopes that the person could hear you? On this trip I did a little of this. Many times have I mentioned that after I was baptized the first time I was tested and I failed those tests and ran.. Well there is a lot to that story. Looking to the church I was first saved at and then looking at the river that I was baptized in it done something to me. It made me sit quiet with the Lord and ask why I had to go through what I did.

Sitting with the Lord, I reflected on my growth. God has done a lot with the mess that was me. Growth is a hard thing. It costs a lot to grow. It takes time, dedication, challenges and struggles. But it also takes breakthroughs and victories. Man times we humans get caught up in the negative that has happened and do not focus on the good that comes from our past. Looking at what we learned from the Glory Days is just as important as the struggles and hardships in our lives.

We did not learn how to love in a day. We did not learn how to do anything in a day. But as we grow and learn, and you hear this a lot in sports, a lot of times you have to get back to the basics to move forward. That’s what this trip was for me. It helped me strip it down to the basics. They are basic foundations that you have in order to build upon.

Job 4:17-21 speaks about having a weak foundation; one without wisdom will cause the house to crumble.  Stronger still is 1 Corinthians 3:5-15:

What then is Apollos? And what is Paul? They are servants through whom you believed, and each has the role the Lord has given. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave growth. So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. Now the one planting and the one watering are one in purpose, and each will receive his own reward according to his own labor. For we are God’s coworkers. You are God’s field, God’s building. According to God’s grace that was given to me, I have laid a foundation as a skilled master builder, and another builds on it. But each one must be careful how he builds on it. For no one can lay any other foundation than what has been laid down. That foundation is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on that foundation with gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, or straw, each one’s work will become obvious for the day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire; the fire will test the quality of each one’s work. If anyone’s work that he has built survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work burned up it will be lost, but he will be saved; yet will be like an escape through fire.

Growth can only come through God. Each of us go through a lot of things to get to where we are.  This passage also speaks to something else. Our work will be tested by fire, and if our work is not strong enough it will burn up, we will survive but it will be like coming through the fire.  I have survived through Christ and only by God’s grace which I did not deserve.

Now the image with this story is a place in Kentucky, where I am from. The very town I was born in, well where the hospital was at anyway, has a tourist attraction above it called Chain Rock. The story goes that this rock, which is massive in size, had broken free from the mountain. They had feared the possibility of the last few things holding it there would break free and this boulder would roll down the mountain and destroy much if not all of the town.

The people built a huge chain, large enough that you can walk across it without much difficulty, and literally chained the boulder to the rest of the mountain. That must have been a scary time for these people, but what does that say to you about faith? To me it sounds a little like this, “Lord, I trust you, I do, but just in case I’m going to do a few things just to make sure. It’s not that I don’t trust you, I’m just being careful.”

Now the further irony to this, the rock never broke free from the mountain and moreover the mountain has now built back up around the boulder securing it in place. The city of Pineville, KY is safe once more. It brings to mind Peter walking on Water. It was all about his faith that allowed him to do as Jesus had done.

Too many times do we restrain our faith and trust in the lord with Chains. There comes a time in our lives that God calls us to cast off our chains and shackles to be free in his grace. Now as we grow with a slaves mind, this is scary. When a Slave does these things it leads to death if we’re lucky and if we are not then it leads to torture and torment, or at least embarrassment.  God calls for us to cast off the changes of slavery that this world has put us in. Only if we do this can we walk with purpose and be one with God.

When God calls to us in this way, he has something for us to do. It may be as small as buying someone some shoes, a meal or going out of your way on your way home to give you a chance to touch a life that you would not meet otherwise. Sometimes it is a Mission trip to another country or just to the local homeless shelter. It might be to allow a perfect stranger in your car or worse… Into your Life! What God can do through you and with you is ultimately up to you and your dedication to the Lord.

No one can serve two masters, so do you wish to keep on the chains of slavery that this world has you under or will you cast them aside to allow God to use you? Will you walk on Water or drown? Will you chain down your faith or let God take care of your problems? All of this is up to you, how much will you allow your chains to keep you from God’s Grace and keep you from sharing this Grace with others?

Power of Words

It’s not what goes into the mouth that defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man. Mat 15:11

The power that our tongue has is one that is hard to understand. How such a small part of our body as a whole has so much power that it is a constant warning throughout the entire bible. This is something that I did not understand until after I began going through counseling and preparing for Deliverance Ministry.

The topic of Deliverance Ministry is a touchy one for a lot of people, but it is one of the reasons I’m doing as well as I am doing right now. During my life wandering spiritually I spoke many things that harmed me and my soul. There are things that I allowed for the sake of understanding, knowledge or power that wounded me deeply.

I profess with my word that these things were wrong and I know that now, but when you are wandering in the dark it’s hard to tell friend from foe. My first steps were in tests. If this flame will change color then there is truth to these words. I wanted to see a response, and I received one. Well if that worked what else will work?

Down the slope I went until I began to allow spirits, demons, into my being. I swore oaths turning myself over as a vessel for the evil ones to use. With these words I allowed them to do with me what they would. It was depravity after another as I carved out sections of who I am and who I was becoming to allow them to do with me what they will.

For my seeking I did receive knowledge and wisdom through my folly. However, by knowing the names of demons, they also learn yours. As you go deeper and deeper into the abyss you see things that you cannot unsee. You learn things that you cannot forget. And you do things that you cannot undo. I had become a man filled with Hate, Lust, Anger, Destruction and filled with dreams of a truly violent death and being happy with it.

I am very glad that things happened when they did. God is good. He warned me to turn away, but I would not listen. Who knows how many demons where walking around in my flesh at any point in time. Was I hearing voices? No… just thoughts. Was I schizophrenic? No… Possession is much different from that. When you open yourself up to the demonic host, you get what they want… not what you want.

All of this was done with words. I swore oaths. Dedicated myself to thoughts and uttered blasphemies. Many of them I can still bring to mind even now. I have not spoken those words in over 5 years, but I still hear them. I denounced my salvation, my right and privilege as a child of God. But even with that, God did not give up on me.

I was the wayward son, lost in the depths of the ocean. He was waiting on me to make my choice and to say the words that he told me to say. All I had to do was ask for forgiveness.

As a fool’s tongue leads to strife and folly (Proverbs 18), only with wisdom gained from folly did I see how much of a fool I had become. I had to be put in a situation where there was nothing to distract me from the truth. I needed my Grey Door.

Upon my release from my Grey Door, my journey was only still beginning. I was a new child of God once more, but my tongue had still opened doors that were not yet closed. I had not done this alone either, and because it was with a union of souls with my wife. We had to be separated for God to begin working on us.

We began receiving counseling. We had a church that supported us as we were a challenge to the leadership of the church. Thank God for Providence Road Church of Christ (http://prcoc.org). We were going to Celebrate Recovery on top of the therapy. Our counselor quickly realized that we were outside her area of expertise and had found someone in the area that works on people with Occult pasts.

Clay Barnes met with us. He was the one that shined the light of the true power of words. In the first session I found myself renouncing oaths with the same verbiage that I used when speaking them. They had to be the same in order to close the doors that were opened. He too felt that we needed something rare. He suggested Deliverance Ministry.

We went into it and again had to be separated. The spirits within myself and my wife could not be removed is we were together. We went through six one-hour long sessions before we were turned back over to Clay. It was a very long process and we came a long way. Still It’s been three years since we finished with that and only now am I speaking about the power of words.

Still now, still so young in Christ with everything that I have seen and gone through. James knew what he was talking about:

“So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how large a forest a small fire ignites. And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is places among the parts of our bodies. It pollutes the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is set on fire by hell” James 3:5-6

So what’s next? It is time for the truth to spew forth from my mouth. With that said. Mind your tongue; do not let it become wild and untamed. My journey is not one I wish any of you to follow. I was Christian, then nothing. I then became Wiccan then a practitioner of Witchcraft. From there I became a Satanist. I became a leader for the enemy. Then I became nothing once more, which was better than what I was, and then once more a Child of God. I came back home and the Father was waiting for me.

If I can blaspheme his name, renounce his gifts, spit on his image, walk with those that would stand against him and make friends among the demons of hell and he forgives me…. I know he would forgive you.

Where's Your Seed?

The old parable that calls back to me on many occasions is the one about the three different kinds of soil. You have the seeds cast in with rocky soil; thrown among the thorns; thrown to the way side, and then finally you have the good soil. The parable has always been taught to me to be about the condition of someone’s heart when you or someone approaches them about the message of God. For me I get a little bit of a different message about this passage.

Something that always rang to me is how much tending needs to be done to make the soil good soil. For a long time I have seen myself to be the seed that was thrown among the thorns. It’s got good dirt, but the thorns make it difficult to grow. Looking through life that is how much of my life has been. I get a good spell right after the garden’s been weeded. Go for a while then the thorns grow right back up around me.

Let’s be clear, none of us were gifted with the perfect soil. Everyone that has started a new garden will know that no patch of ground is perfect. Things were growing there before, there are rocks in the dirt and many times it takes many years of tending before you have good dirt. Now that is not to say that it does not help to have the soil prepared for you. I see this as people that were raised in good Christian homes. That does not mean that your seed cannot fall to the wayside, and certainly doesn’t mean that if left alone that thorns and weeds cannot creep back into the garden.

The biggest issue with good healthy dirt is that it is good healthy dirt. Thorns and weeds love to grow in the same place as fruits and vegetables.  You must always tend to your soil. But back to what I’m talking about today. Each of us has inherited this plot of soil that is who we are. This is our heart, mind, body and soul. There are many things that factor into how hard, rocky, thorny or good our soil is. A strong seed can grow in nearly any condition. It’s just harder.

Why is it important to know what kind of dirt you have? Well once you know what you are working with you will know how much work will needed to be put into it. Also the more work you put into it the better it will grow. Any dirt can become good dirt. It takes TLC. The worse your dirt is the more you have to do to fix it. That is part of how we grow as Christians, and as people for that matter.

I started out with really fertile soil, yeah there were plenty of rocks in it, but it had been worked for me for a few years to start out life. The problem is, it was left untended for a good number of years. By the time I first walked to Christ, I had plenty of rocks still there and the weeds had taken over. But the dirt was fertile.

The seed took root and grew. The weeds had been cleared out enough for this one seed. That wasn’t enough. The weeds liked the dirt and grew back up. Well then I began to ignore it even more and threw more junk in the garden. Bottles, cans, distractions, magazines, people and many other things were thrown in this place. I then realized how much of a mess all that had become wanted to pave over it with something else.

Shopping around I found the thing that was as different from the garden as I could. The salesman was good, “You want knowledge, wisdom, understanding and power… I’ve got all that for you. All you got to do is add a little water, mix it up and poor it over all that and you’ll never see it again. Once you’ve done that you can do whatever you want. Risk free! Satisfaction Guaranteed! No conviction, just pleasure and indulgence.”

“Hell yeah, where do I sign!” was my reply.

Hell indeed. So now this fertile ground was covered in a slab of concrete. When I fell I hit this concrete and it did not give way. Jesus then showed up with a sledgehammer and a shovel. You’ve got the dirt down there, all we have to do is get back to it and get it cleaned up. Here I’ll help. Jesus then began breaking the concrete.

If you have read the “Grey Door” then you know this portion of the story. For 115 days Jesus pounded away at the concrete. Somewhere in there I began to help. We got back down to the soil and started clearing it out. Man it has been hard work. Still 5 years later, people still see all the junk in my garden. Those that do not know Christ says, “Man what a mess you are. I can’t help you.”

This is not my concern though… The story that I have to hear to keep my strength is with the ones that look at my garden and say, “Wow, you’ve come a long way. You’ve got a ways to go, can I help. If you need another shovel just let me know.” These people are my brothers and sisters. My garden is still a mess, but it’s a work in progress. Luckily God loves works in progress just as much as he loves the well-tended gardens.

Mark 4:3-9, Ecclesiastes 4:7-12, 1 Timothy 1:12-17, 6:12-16

Won't Back Down

Have you ever had those moments that struck very powerfully in your mind. Today I had one of those moments. Standing in church singing and praising the Lord with all the horrible sounds that I could muster, when I closed my eyes to pray as I sang along. A line from another song came to mind and an image stood clearly in my mind.

The song was “Won't Back Down” by Tom Petty. The line of course was, “You can stand me up at the gates of hell and I won't back down.” Powerful words, but paled in comparison to the image that joined it. A truly scary image, scary for what it symbolizes.

I saw myself standing in that dark cavern that I have traveled through in my mind so many times in my past. Standing there at the threshold, at the gate was myself standing in chainmail with a very large white shield with the red cross on it. Cross helm and white sir coat with the always known red cross. Standing there I plunged a flag into the ground with and stood very strong and proudly. It was so impressive looking so large and strong and powerful. I looked as if I were a human wall with a look upon my face so sure that nothing held behind that gate would get past me.

Images similar to these have not been too far from my face in recent days. They come in different forms and shapes, but still with this power and strength that I do not possess. That is what is so scary about this image, the strength that one would have to have to stand there like that knowing what horrors await. Strength that no mortal possess. It is so humbling to see these images for me.

The Lord makes all thing possible, this truth I know. I have walked through those fires and seen their faces and know their names. Through this darkness they too know my face. My name. They know the pride, the anger that once was held within me. They know the weaknesses of my flesh. They know my lusts and desires, they know me better than I know them. They know that I once toasted a glass to their honor and their power, and stood as opposition to God.

In the end their promises of power were without ground. They could provide temporary strength, only for periods of time that God allowed. Through my own desires to be more than a human, my body mind and soul were torn asunder. I look at who I was then and do not recognize that face. They made a monster out of me and I relished in it. My faith in them was strong, so strong that I thought, no I believed that I could walk into heavens gates and tear God from the throne.

Talk about delusional. They do not have this power and they cannot give it to any man, woman or child. And now with this image in my mind. I was too weak to stand that vigil for the demons of hell. This is the same flesh, the same bones and the same blood. How can God expect that of me?

God knows my heart and he knows the good that I would love to do. He knows that I weep over the hurt that I have caused in the past. Even though I am forgiven for it, I still weep knowing all those lives that I helped destroy. The pain that I have caused to my family, friends and those that looked to me as a leader. They looked to me to guide them and give them strength. I lead them only to destruction, the same road that I was going down.

How then, in such a short amount of time, can I stand so strong for the Lord? Am I strong enough to do this? Only God knows. That is the message here. It is not about me and my past, but know this. Through all the bad that I have done, God is now getting the Glory just as he will. God's hand was the only one that could reach down and pull me out of the flames. Only his grace in good enough and strong enough to break my heart. He wrestled me and made me give it all to him.

Do I have the strength to stand at the gates of hell and not back down? Do I have the strength to stand vigil as someone to bring hope and courage to those that have none? Do I have the wisdom to know what to say to those that are going down the road I traveled? The answer is simple, No.

No, I do not have this strength. My flesh is weak and is built in sin, there is no strength in these bones, blood and mind. That is where the wicked fail. They believe that these temporal forms can bi given the power to combat things that are eternal.

“For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him so that body of sin might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin. For whoever has died is freed from sin. But if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus” Romans 6:5-11

Only through Faith in Christ Jesus shall we know the strength and power that God will grant. That power is through knowing that we stand with the one true God. Through his grace mercy and peace will we be empowered to do things that are far beyond what we may do. This is not a cry to say that if you want power become a Christian. No on the contrary, through realizing how weak we are, we learn that the power of God through Christ is insurmountable.

Will I stand so vigil? With the Lord of Heaven and earth beside me, behind me and in me. Of course I will. So long as I don the armor of faith and stand on the pillar of faith that is the foundation of all that we are. God is the Lord of Heaven and Earth, he became flesh in the Son Jesus Christ, whom lived the perfect life and sacrificed himself for those that could not live perfect.

Even Aristotle said that perfection is akin to a force that cannot exist here in this world even for a second. This world is broken and to be perfect you will transcend to something more and beyond all that we know. In our lives we will see these moments within ourselves for only seconds when we stand beside ourselves in disbelief. In those moments, Praise Lord that you have received the grace and glory to do his work in all you do.

I stand in opposition of what the demons in hell wished for me. If they had their way, I would probably be with them now, dead. Through that death my soul would forever be lost and held beneath. But God pulled me from that hell, and placed me here. He redeemed me and Justified my actions and made me upright. Not perfect, just as flawed and broken, but upright. There is a difference.

Those of you that feel as if you are being swallowed by the flames of hell. Know that I have stood in those flames. I willingly walked into those fires and am being prepared to possibly do the same, with a different agenda. Only God knows what he has in store for me. But I will stand with you if you ask of it. Give me your hand and together we can find a road back to more solid ground. I'll walk with you for a while, until I can get you to someone that can take you the rest of the way.

The fires became a home for me once and I stand against them now. Lord give me the strength that I do not possess. As you prepare me for what is to come, help me become more able to stand with those that are hurting. Guide me to know what to say or where to go, so all those that have lost their lives around me can have a little more hope, and find peace in you. Too many have died not knowing your love or feeling abandoned by the world, or their pride kept them from reaching out. Lord you know my heart, I know you are preparing me, I know that you will use me. Lord give me the strength that I do not have.

I leave with the prayer for the full armor of God:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power. Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore Take up the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to withstand on that evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand therefore, and fasten the belt of truth around your waist and put on the breastplate of righteousness. As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to proclaim the gospel of peace. With all of these take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ~Ephesians 6:10-17

Two Men of God

There are two men, both of which were born Jewish, both of which are responsible for committing murder, both were locked in Prison for the rest of their lives; while incarcerated both wrote for God. Yet one of these men we as Christians hold up in high esteem and the other many of us think has gotten more than he deserves and still condemn him for what he has done. This story is about two individuals with similar stories that go down two different roads that lead to the same place. This story is about Saul and David Berkowitz. They are better known as Paul and Son of Sam.

Many of you know the story of Saul who spent many years seeking out and killing Christians. He was an upright Jew of that day and age that was hell bent on snuffing this thing called Christianity. While on the way to get some more of them and kill them God intervened and struck him blind. God sent him to a Christian where he saw the light and saw again. This did not stop him from being locked up and sent to Rome where he spent the rest of his days.

Many of you know the popular portion of the story of Son of Sam. He’s a serial killer, so how can I even compare him to Paul? Son of Sam, after spending 10 years in Prison for crimes that he committed and admits that he committed, God found a way into his heart. He wrestled him down and took him through the motions of his rebirth.  This is something that I have gone through first hand. It takes a lot to look at what you have done and admit it before God, to yourself and to the world.

David did this, but how can God use someone that is locked away from the world? Well he showed us this in the past, when we look at half of the New Testament, it was written by a man that was locked away in Prison serving a life sentence. The sentence he was serving however was one based on what God asked him to do outside of Prison, not for the crimes that he committed to other human beings before becoming a Christian.

David was arrested for his crimes he committed before he became a Christian, but God has shown him the mercy of forgiveness that none of us deserve. He too has written for God, his book is titled “Son of Hope” for there is hope for everyone. His road was a very ugly one dealing with issues from childhood including sezures that he described as feeling like something was coming into him. There is proof of this in the bible where Jesus came across the boy who suffered from sezures as well. Jesus asked the demons name and they said “Legion for we are many.” Jesus cast these demons into a herd of pigs.

Demonic possession can cause one to do a lot of things, I can attest to this myself.  David does not blame these demons for the whole issue, he considers it a contributing factor, but not the cause. The flesh is weak and can be tempted with many things. Son of Sam killed six people. Saul was responsible for hundreds of people losing their lives. Yet we hold up Paul, and we would not spit on the Son of Hope if he were on fire. Why is that?

God does not state that either of them are any better than the other. God states the exact opposite; he states that they are equal. Today Paul is a saint and David is another prisoner sitting in prison eating up tax payer’s money. Paul is inspiration for all of us. David is only a mass murderer. My question to each of you is this, do you forgive people that you do not know? Are you capable of forgiving Casey Anthony, Amanda Knox, Son of Sam, Charles Manson? Are you capable of forgiving Joseph Craig, your neighbor on the sex offender registry, or the boy that stole your car or just hurt your daughter?

We do not question or even hold offense to Saul because he’s Paul; we saw what God did with him. We do not yet know what God will use all of these people for. So let me ask you again, why can we forgive one or some of these and not the rest? Why can YOU forgive some, but not all? Why do we believe that God can use Saul and not the Son of Sam? Do not question who God’s servants are, only God knows our hearts.

Son of Hope's Testimony:  http://www.ariseandshine.org/Testimony-&-Translations.html

How to turn the lights on for those clinging to the Darkness

I received a letter today, it is from a friend that I help lead astray. This friend followed me through the occult life that I was living and clung to my teachings more than I’d care. He finds himself accepting a plea for 16 to 21 years for multiple bank robberies. I have been working with him to help him find faith in the God that I know and love, but now, what do you say to him?

This man is someone that trusted me and followed me into hell. His morals ripped apart, just as mine were. His life torn asunder, just like mine were. This situation broke him down and brought him a little lower into hell, and justly so. As he sits and states, “God has abandoned us all, wait what God? There is No God.” I cannot help to feel sorrow in my heart for him.

I know that he committed these crimes, and he does not deny them. What is hurting him so, is how long he will be going to a Department of Correction facility and the fact that his “partner in crime” is getting 10 years probation and he is getting 16 years in prison. So what do you say to someone whose faith has never been built, and what ground you have helped him make is torn asunder?

God is just and he knows what he is doing. One of the greatest contributors of the New Testament spent the last years of his life in Prison as well, but he had faith going in and through that. I know that there are many people that have found faith in prison and many go on to write books and lead prison ministries. So what about him now, is his path to be locked in to go down this road? Or can he overcome this lack of faith at all? How do you help someone that is in this situation?

I plan to be there for him and support him and continue to be his friend. I will continue to witness to him through my acts of faith. Life is hard enough without falling into these pitfalls. When the devil whispers in your ear to do this or that, and you listen… suffering occurs. I know this, I have lived through this. When you do not turn from Satan and pull to Christ, I understand that the suffering continues. What now? What happens when the suffering continues when you are pull to the Lord? How does faith prosper like that?

We have many lessons in the bible speaking of enduring through suffering to build stronger faith. We also have many lessons speaking of the fact that God will wrestle with you until you surrender to him. Those who do not surrender will suffer. What do you say though to the suffering man that will not surrender? How do you impact that person’s life? How can you show someone clinging to the darkness how good the light is? That is my prayer right now, how can I and everyone else show these people the light of the Lord?

May you all have Mercy, Peace and Love in Abundance.