Pefect Love drives out Fear

After a truly rough night, as part of a rough month, I will have to apologize in advance that this message is going to be one that is going to leave a bit of a sour taste in all mouths that partake. When one contemplates, what are they asking? Quite simple one is asking how or why typically, however many times one is asking questions that cannot be answered by normal means.

There are many dark things in this world, and in this I will be looking at a couple of the darker things that exist. My first topic is doubt and my second topic of the day is a revelation to many of you about what demons truly are. This will not be for the faint of heart or those that do not wish to know anything about what hell is really like.

We human have what is called “Free Will” and I assure you that sometimes that is a very bad thing. It allows us to do whatever we want and of course face the consequences for those actions afterwards. In our society it is used as a teaching tool; a measuring stick; a point of disconcert; a point of hope and destruction. We have the “Free Will” to follow whatever religion we want or do not want, as well as many other choices in life.

This “Free Will” takes us down many roads in life; we each walk our own road. It does not matter how much it looks like someone else’s road, it is your own. As such we walk this road with comings and goings of different people and things as our roads intersect or run together for a while. What happens as we grow through experiencing life is we begin to pile up learned lessons.

We learn how people can be mean; how WE can be mean. We learn how people can be good and how we ourselves can be good. We learn what we like and what we do not. We learn from mistakes that our “Free Will” granted us to make. This is life. How different would we be if one of our earlier choices had been different? As each choice leads us to another, cascading, how different would we be?

Eventually we come to a point in our lives where many of us accept life for what it seems to be. We make the choice of “Well this is my lot in life. I know the role I must play.” You accept “Fate” as it were and start using your free will to choose what would be acceptable in the current situation. For many people this ends up being somewhat of a good thing. It keeps them safe, free from harm. However, for others, life just isn’t that simple.

What if you accept your role in life and it is not the role that “Fate” had determined for you. How many times do we hear the results of such situations? It can come from a sudden change in one’s life, to an unfaithful or abusive spouse. It can come from a plummeting stock market to a natural disaster. What if Life changes on you when things were supposed to happen just as they happened for your mother or father or grandparent? With all this uncertainty in life you can easily see how Doubt can breed.

Even without that it is easy to just ask the question, “Did I do the right thing?” With free will we also are faced with a very real problem. We have to make decisions for ourselves and if we make a decision and something bad happen as a result, our upbringing tells us we made the wrong one. So we make a choice, and we wait to see if it’s going to be good or bad. In the mean time we question, “Was that the right decision?”

Now some will say that doubt is an extension of fear. I can agree with that. We are afraid that we have made the wrong decision so we worry and dwell on it. So if doubt is a form of fear, then does not perfect faith drive out fear? So if we do have that faith, do we run the risk of not learning from our mistakes? Welcome to the realm of doubt.

Doubt is a very dangerous thing, which is why we are as prone to it as a race of people. We doubt ourselves, our fellow man, our government, our society, and even our God(s) if one were so inclined. So as we come to our next decision in life, still doubting our last one, we find this next decision harder than the last. The spiral continues, sometimes we come out okay; sometimes not. That in itself does not help with doubt.

We can always look back on our lives at the “Big” decisions that we made, most of us have some really bad choices that we have made in life. It’s easy to see that those were BAD ideas looking back. So why did we make them in the first place? Chances are that emotions were blocking out logic, but what if emotion had nothing to do with it when you made the bad choice? Well we will just chock that one up to a learning experience and move along, besides you can always blame it on an emotion.

How many of us begin such things, lying to yourself to make you feel better about your bad choice. How many unfaithful men and women blame it on the person they are supposed to be faithful to? The answer is most of them. Why do we do this? Simple to make us feel better. We do not like the idea that we did something wrong; it does not make us feel good.

Humans like to feel good, thus why sex addiction is the number one addiction in the world.  That is a big reason for drugs and alcohol addiction as well. Just look at the choices that people make in life. Why would anyone in their right mind think jumping off of a cliff with only a sheer piece of cloth and a few nylon strings could be a good idea? No, it’s a fun idea. It stimulates us, fear causes a flood to our brain that makes us feel good. So extreme sports, to sex, to drugs, to God, humans are addicted to feeling good, we want to feel good.

This desire leads us to great things as well as bad things. Love, for instance, is one of the greatest emotions that we humans were blessed with. No other thing feels quite as good as pure, deep love. Jesus brings us the message of love. There is no question why Paul compares the love of Christ and the love of God as a marital affair with humans. That type of love, love that you share with that special someone, is irreplaceable.  That is why we doubt when bad things happen in our lives.

As a Christian, it makes me doubt God. As a man, it makes me doubt my society, government and myself.  Very few people who commit suicide are quite like Hunter S. Thompson, who killed himself on what he considered to be one of the most beautiful and best days of his life. Most people do that out of doubt, or deeper Fear. They doubt or fear that people love them. They doubt they are good enough to live. Or they fear that life is just not worth living.

Now that we are in this dark place, let’s go a little further shall we? I know that many Christians see demons as manifestations of doubt, fear, anger, and lust. I know that many people believe that is all a demon is. It’s part of your psyche that has manifested itself as mental illness or depression. If that were true the world would be a much better place.

If that is your belief then please stick around for the rest of the show. I tell you here and now that demons are not just figments of your psyche. They are NOT just depression, worry and concern. No, no. These are all byproducts of their work. Hateful little buggers they are. Now, I step into a space that I am nervous to go back into. However my doubts and fears in my life are not that I will succumb to these as much as just fade to a bad memory. I walk this dark path because my “Free Will” took me straight to the fires of hell.

I walked a path that I hope none are following, but I know you are. Demons are real, spiritual manifestations of all the darkness of the world. When Lucifer rose up in heaven, took 1/3^rd of the angels with him. They fell into a dark place, void and lacking form. They still remembered how to shape the void. They made areas of darkness, cold places. They made places of sand with palaces of gold. They made many things in this place. They made demons as these fallen angels were twisted by their failure. They were twisted by their doubt. They were twisted by their anger and hatred.

They are really not so different from humans. That is the scary part. Some demons were made by the fallen angels from energy that they possess. Others, well they were human once. Their souls tormented in the pit below by these angry spirits until humanity is ripped away leaving only your vices. Not all demons want to do physical harm to you. Some just want you to exploit your vices. Some of the most dangerous demons in hell just want to draw you so deep into desires of the flesh that you forget everything else.

So your grandfather, a wicked man not knowing god, did he really go to heaven? Did he go to hell? How long until he becomes a demon if he did? That is their goal. They want you to become JUST like them. Are you beautiful and love to seduce? You pride yourself on how irresistible you are? Good, they know just the job for you. Are you an angry man, hell bent on the laws and rules? You follow them to the letter? Even the Books of Law, and are stern and unforgiving? Great… we know just where to put you.

If you didn’t catch that last one, let me spell it out for you. Those who do not know the love of God are blind to the true face of God and you are going to go straight down. Some of you are great preachers and are doing such a great service to the agents of evil. Lucifer awards you with employee of the year. Westborough Baptist, this means you. Judge not lest ye be judged comes to mind.

Demons are very dangerous things. They will try to convince you that they are good, or that they can give you what you want. They whisper in your ear when you don’t think they are. Many times that you think they are whispering, they’re not, they already planted that seed. They will trade with you, work on you and try to make a place in your soul for themselves. You let them in, guess what, they now live there and can invite whoever they want to their parties.

Helping a guy out, you offer him a room. Next thing you know, there is a crack-whore having sex on your kitchen table in front of your children. Yeah, demons are like that. Sometimes humans can be worse. Some demons actually have in their mind that they are trying to help humans. They want to free us from our bondage of slavery. Their hatred for God has twisted them to believe that God is a very hateful and vengeful being that just wants to destroy us. Really nice guys huh? Place gifts at your feet, give you everything they can to get you to see the light.

I warn you, sometimes that sexy supermodel that you see in your dreams is really a demon feeding your desires. Sometimes when you dream of that cute co-worker they are tempting you to do the wrong thing, and sometimes they are doing it to that cute co-worker as well. Sometimes however, that is just your own desires of the flesh running off with you. Take ownership of your weakness. Satan will do his job. Humans have a proven track record to do the wrong thing all on our own. Sorry, but that is the ugly truth.

You cannot hate Satan for what he is doing. You should expect it from him. He’s doing the only thing he knows how to do. What you should really focus on is yourself. What can you do? Life sucks, you have yourself and all your bad habits, PLUS you have the demons trying to give you more, and you have your own temptations. How could a human walk through life and really be happy? Now there is a million dollar question.

So where is the silver lining? Why have I spent so much time beating your psyche down? I find myself asking the same question sometimes. Does any of this have a purpose? My answer is, “I hope it does.” As for this, I want you to go away thinking about your life and how trapped you may be. I want you to think if you are really happy. If you are, I am happy for you. Life is hard enough when it’s just life. Do not walk into the darkness; there are things there that will break your mind. You cannot unsee what you see. Hell is real, demons are as well, and they will open their arms to you just as fast as God.

It is a slippery slope. One step will lead to ten. Do not open that door just to peek inside, once they see you without the mask of innocence on your face, they will come running. Even death will not bring freedom from them. The only thing that can is God. The only remedy for fear is love. You cannot scare someone into love either. The only peace that I have is with the love that I share with my wife and my Lord. Its dark right now, I know God is there, I just wish he stood but just a little closer. Until then, it is the love of my wife that keeps me going.

God Forgives, the world Forgets

One of the things that life has taught me since I have once again turned my life over to Christ is one simple fact. God forgives, however the world does not, it forgets. This fact leads to many more trials and challenges than I care to acknowledge. So we will look at this thought over the next few pages.

For those of you that do not know me, I was raised in a Christian environment at an early age. I was saved and baptized by the age of 11. It was a wonderful day, which I still remember vividly. This day lead to trials of faith and challenges that proved to be too much for me at that time. I turned from the church and began to look through different denominations of Christianity other than the Baptist church that I had always known.

This led me eventually to the occult through not finding what I was seeking in all branches of Christianity. As I spiraled down darker roads, I found a road that fueled hatred and anger. I embraced Satan as my savior. He was the adversary of the one that I felt abandoned by. There was power in magic; knowledge in the unseen. I stared into the abyss and truly it gazed back upon me.

As my morals decayed and destroyed the good man that I had tried so hard to be for so long, I became something that I did not recognize. Through a coven that was started by my wife and myself, we allowed the darkness engulf us and swallow us whole. In that time of darkness we performed deeds that were punishable by law. We hurt others that were involved with the same dark deeds as we were. One of them, rightfully so, went to the police.

Prior to all of this, God was yet there. I heard the warnings, “If you do not turn back, then you will not like where this road goes.” I was warned not once or twice, but at least three times I was told to turn from this path. Yet my heart was hardened. I would not turn away. So me and my wife were arrested and given charges that would take the fight out of nearly anyone. Locked away with no way to get out, God began to wrestle me.

I was placed in a cell with someone that was raised in a Satanic household as a child. The damage that was done to him caused him to be pulled from his parents. This man had become a Christian in jail. It was one of the best things that could have happened to me. It put more weight on me to reflect at my life and how I was living. Through stories and testimony, my heart was broken enough to look at the word of God with an open mind again.

God did not tire. He broke me down with isolation, separation and reflection. He brought me to a point where I had to realize that the only way to get through this ordeal alive was with him and him alone. I gave my life back over to him. The whole time my wife was going through the same thing. Independently she found her way to Christ for the first time. We both were scared to tell the other that we had become a Christian because we did not want to lose the one that we loved.

Scared and nervous we eventually told one another that we had become a Christian and was overjoyed to find that the other had as well. This is an important part of the topic that I am discussing here. We had been forgiven of our sins, cloaked in the blood of Jesus. God took those that were fully ready to kill his followers and do anything we could to defeat the Church of hypocrisy and lies. He took us in and forgave us. He showed us grace and mercy. Our charges were reduced from Felony to Misdemeanors and we were given one year of probation. Certainly less than what we deserved in the eyes of the world, and much more than we deserved where the spirit is concerned.

God gave us a new beginning, a new start on life. He gave us another chance to know what love truly is and how good Grace is. He gave us a Church family that showed us how to support and love as Christ. He gave us councilors that were capable of helping us deal with all the wounds that we had dealt to ourselves and allowed the demons in hell to do to us.

God even blessed me with a job that was beyond my wildest dreams. I am more than a bit of a computer nerd, and he gave me a job working at Microsoft. With our past I never thought it would be possible, but there I was. He kept our sins hidden from the HR department and blessed me with a year of work there.

Things were looking great; I thought that I had finally made it all the way out of the darkness. I had a chance to interview for internal positions within Microsoft and was extended a job offer. The background check was going through and I even revealed the sins of my past to everyone involved to ensure that nothing would stop me from this dream. Even though HR said everything would be fine, the legal department had an issue with my past.

The world has not yet forgotten my past. And because of my past, they felt it was necessary to terminate my temporary contract as well. I cannot stress this enough. Anything is possible with God at your side, but that does not mean that the world will just open up and let you in wherever you happen to be. The world looks at me as a violent man and a safety risk. I have been turned down for six different jobs because of my past in the same number of weeks.

The world still remembers good and well the monster that I had become and will not take a chance to allow me another chance. This is how the world deals with mistakes. If you made one mistake you will make another. So it is best that they just stay away from you and your mistakes as they can. The world will ignore you and look away until they forget why they are looking away from you.

Once the world has forgotten your past, you will be damned by it. When we give ourselves to the Lord, we are no longer of the world, we are of God. With that we are no longer of the world. So the world does not understand how we can be transformed through God. The world still thinks as it has and as it will. John tells us this in his first letter to the Church in 1 John 4:4-6. The world cannot see the fact that we are clothed in the Blood of Christ that we have indeed been forgiven.

The world really does not care about that fact either. Why should they? They are not of God so they do not know Grace. My salvation resides in the Grace of God for no man is worthy of the salvation that is offered through Christ Jesus. Even now as I face these struggles I know that the Lord is at my side and as the Psalmist stated, “If God stands with us, Who can stand against us?”

The answer is plain with that one. No one can stand against us if God stands with us. As we all struggle to understand God’s plan. I am confident that he will lead us all to salvation and our home build upon stable ground. What this will look like, none of us will really know. We must not resist God in times like this. He knows what he is doing, as long as we are ready to move when God says move then he will do amazing things with us.

Our struggles revolve around our sin. We are imperfect people all lacking the grace of God. Our spirit is of God and through that spirit we are able to do many wonderful and miraculous things. God is preparing me for the next position in life that he will use me for. I know not what it is, but I would like to think I am ready now for the move. God opens doors that the world would keep shut from me.

The Lord is providing all of our needs for us. That is his promise to us. Be a good steward of what you are blessed with and know that just because the world does not forgive, you can be forgiven if you look to the Lord and accept Christ as your Lord and Savior. If God can forgive again and again men and women that set to destroy all good works that he has done, occultists and demon worshipers, what sin have you committed that he could not forgive? All is possible with the love of the Lord.