Pluto Syndrome

“How can this be?” Nicodemus asked. John 3:9

We have all lived through learning something that shook us. Something that we believed and thought was true was disproven or we were told it was wrong. For many of us that is the scary times in our lives, for others it’s the greatest moment of our lives. Many times these things are new discoveries or miracles in our minds. Now put yourself back 2000 years ago.

I know that most of the people that read the words that I have written are Christian. Many of you are probably very strong in your faith and no one can shake your faith. You could listen to Mormons for weeks and not be shaken or question your faith what so ever. God has blessed you with the foundation that he calls us to have, one built upon rock.

Now 2000 years ago, let us see ourselves as Jews instead of Christians. We have been told that a Messiah would come and save us. And just like today I’m sure that many of us see the world as being so bad that it has to come soon because it can’t get much worse. So we hope, but we see our world as we do and realize that there is nothing we can do about it, just as we could do nothing about the Romans that conquered us.

We go to synagogue and we pray, we keep our laws the best we can. Many of us are hoping that the Messiah will come soon to rescue us from the rule of Rome. We’re good Jews though and hold to our covenant the best we can. We want to be free from the rule of Rome so bad, but we know that it would take God himself to free us from Rome.

We have made up our minds in our fantasies of who and what this Messiah will be. We know that the Messiah will be something beyond belief. God in the flesh, wow. His beard must be perfect and take no grooming. A Jew’s Jew.

So we hear stories and rumors about this man down at the river talking about the Messiah coming soon. We want to believe, but we’ve heard his kind before. They are the crazy ones that yell on the corners holding signs. They are all crazy, he doesn’t even wash his hands properly, he can’t be Jew, let alone someone that God has given sight to.

A little more time goes buy and this carpenter’s son starts teaching that the Law is wrong. Even more that he is the Son of God in the flesh. This is not a Jew’s Jew, he’s no Messiah. That’s what your friends say. He is teaching all the wrong things, and he’s not here to free us from Rome. He is not what you pictured the Messiah as, he can’t be him.

Would we really believe the story unfolding before us? Would we believe that Jesus was really the son of God? That would be like us today believing the story of John Smith. He is adding to the bible, and the bible says that you cannot do that. We can read so many other Christian books to add to our faith as long as they are not adding to the Bible itself we are OK.

What do you think writings like these are doing? Building upon the word of God, but I’m not saying that this is the Book of Joe, stick it in there between 3 John and Jude. But let us go back to Jesus. He was an amazing man, we saw him do miracles, we try to corner him with biblical teachings and he knows the word better than most of us do. But he’s a carpenters son, this can’t be the Messiah.

How hard would it be for us to believe? Each society had their own beliefs and today is no different. Christianity is the largest religion in the world, but yet there are so many people that still do not believe. I want you to think about how hard it would be to believe when you are raised told that those Christians are crazy, they believe in things that Science cannot prove.

I mean let us be honest here, what is your opinion on the sacrifices that Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses make? Is it crazy that the watchtower denies their followers birthdays? Mormonism’s diet is very strict. We as Christians, what do we think of these sacrifices? They aren’t godly because our bible doesn’t say to do these things.

Let me tell you a secret, the same book that we use to guide our belief is the same book that the Jehovah’s Witnesses use to prove their way of life. It is all about interpretation of God’s Word. Am I saying that they are right? No, I can’t believe in that. I cannot believe that only 144,000 people will be allowed into heaven and be with God.  How do I view their personal sacrifices? I think that it is impressive that they believe strong enough to deny themselves of things like that. I am also glad that I am not called to sacrifice in that way.

Going back two thousand years ago, how hard do you think it was for Nicodemus to go seek out Jesus? How hard do you think it was for him to believe Jesus? God opened his heart and lead him to believe, but I don’t think it was that night that it all sunk in, because if that was true I doubt he would have asked some of the questions he had asked later in the gospel.  When our world is shaken to the foundation, it is hard for us to grasp onto everything.

These world changes can happen and they happen every day. Every atheist that sees that God is real, it happens. Every time a Pagan realizes that the Gods they serve are not truly Gods, it happens. Every time a Satanists realizes that Satan is not God, it happens. Every time a non-believer is added to the fold, it happens.

The more solid our foundation in what we are believing now the harder it is to turn from it. If you want to imagine what it was like for Nicodemus, just think about what if the Mormons are right for a moment. That’s all you need to do to put yourself in Nicodemus’ shoes. Now come back to what you believe God is God and Jesus is Jesus.  For Nicodemus to believe Jesus, it took something in his heart. He believed.

Now there are new discoveries nearly every day, but we can handle new understanding and knowledge when we know that we don’t know what’s there. It is when we believe we know what is real, that is when it is hard. It is not hard for us to believe in finding another planet in space that is similar to earth. It’s not hard to believe in discovery of a new star, but you downgrade Pluto from a planet to a lesser classification and that’s hard to believe.

What would happen to your faith if another sentient life form was discovered on many of the near earth planets out there? Would you doubt God’s word? You shouldn’t, nowhere in the bible does it say that he didn’t create man on more than one world. Man might look a bit different somewhere else, but it doesn’t matter, it’s not a faith thing.

So why talk about this? There are millions of people out there that know what they believe just as strongly as we know and believe in Christ. How do you reach them? You can’t only God can. Do you hate child that does not know things? No we teach them. Sometimes all we are called to do is cast a few seeds in the direction of the lost. Live by example and tell them why you believe. Look for opportunities to get to know people and have relationships with them.

You have to invest yourself into people’s lives a bit. Love first, let God be God. You realize that you do not have to tell someone that they are a sinner or damned to fulfill God’s commandments? You can love people as you would desire to be loved without mentioning God. It is when they ask how or why that you can let them know the how or why. That how or why, we all know, is God. Love first, let God be God. Cast the seed and let God water it.

“Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.” D. Elton Trueblood

Hell's Beautiful Lie

“He was in the world, and the world came into being through him; yet the world did not know him.” John 1:10

We see hell’s lies everywhere we look. The lie of hell is present in all things. Hell is full of many of the best liars that the world has seen. These guys are big on PR and marketing, that’s why Hell looks so beautiful these days and heaven seems like such a boring place. It’s a big PR campaign instead of a war like we see on the news every day.

Hell has everything you are looking for. Hell has everything you need. You do not have to restrain yourself or do anything that you don’t want to do. Sex, drugs, parties, yep it has it all. Fame and fortune you can have that too. Remember to be a Christian you have to sacrifice all of that. Sex, yeah that’s the first thing you have to give up. Only for kids that’s it, just like the other animals. You like sex don’t you? Of course you do, why would you want to be a Christian then?

PR has even hit Christians enough to make them believe it. I know a lot of metal heads that will tell you that will tell you God loves to rock. Sex is a gift from God that we have been given to share with our spouse. But that’s not what Hell’s lie is. No their lie goes deeper than that.

You want to be successful? Well you got to be of the world to be successful and well you just can’t do that being Christian.  Hell will use God’s own works against the followers and believers. When I was a Satanist I read the bible quite a bit. Why would a Satanist use the bible? In the bible there is a lot of stuff that men do not understand without God showing them what it means.

Why would God ask anyone to give his son up as an offering? Better yet, and pagans love this one, why would God say to hold no other gods above him if there were no other gods? Without the understanding that anything that you put above god is an idol or another God their statement would hold water. So using the same words that Christians use against them puts a lot of Christians in a spot where they do not know what to say or do.

That is part of the point, doubt. If one of the lost see this moment of doubt, that is a point for the devil. But again, many times the beautiful lie is not targeting the soul and faith directly. Let’s just occupy you with things that you love. Idle hands are the devil’s plaything, not anymore. Let people become so busy they have no time to even consider God.

Both parents are now working, and can still only just make ends meet. If you are going to be successful, you have to dress the part. You want your kids to be successful, well they have to have a good balance of extracurricular activities and go to a good college. Well that costs more money so we have to work more. Busy, busy, busy…

But hey you got that McMansion. You are driving the latest and greatest SUV this one getting a whole 19 MPG. You’ve got the iEverything. You have it going on. You’ve got everything just like Hell promised. So why are you so unhappy that you find yourself finding a reason to drink, always arguing with your spouse and have no idea what your children actually like, so you buy them the lasts iThing.

You are feeding the machine, just like Hell asked you to do. That’s what you got to do to be successful right? Well you’ve come this far, next you are going to have to join a country club to network with more people. Yep we can make a few sacrifices so daddy can join up to make a little more.

Don’t forget that perfect lawn. What you have is a new law that you cannot fulfill. As Grace Life International would say, you have all these ways that you try to fill your buckets, but they have a whole in them. Hell has you. But you go to church, but do you have the love of God within you. But I always vote republican and fight abortion. Good for you, but you are missing the cause. Do you share love?

The world tells you things, and it doesn’t matter if you are Democrat, Republican, Socialists, Tea Party or Communist, if you take that walk without the Love of Christ you will fall short. If you are doing all these things to be successful, but do it without God you will fall short. You fill your time with bake sales, choir, and helping the homeless, great, but do you do it with the love of Christ in your heart or so people will love you.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. We tried for a long time to live by the law and fell short, that’s why Grace was given to us. Hell’s beautiful lie does not hold water against the one truth of God. You like heavy metal, keep it, God still loves you. You like tattoos and piercings, keep them, God still loves you. You like to play Dungeons and Dragons, Call of Cthulhu, and Shadowrun, keep doing it, God still loves you. If any of these things inhibit your faith, discard it, but let God guide you in that, not man.

Hell’s lie is that the only way to have fun is to not be a Christian, their boring. Hell’s lie tells us that they are the only way to be successful. Hell’s lie is that if you are going to be a Christian you have to do all these things, keep up the law, never sin, be perfect, be a cookie cutter of those church kids that look so perfect. Hell’s lie tells you that’s the only way.

That’s exactly why it’s a lie. There is so many Christian Rock, rap or metal bands out there. Right now there is an organization that is taking up a fund to get oneof their pastors a tattoo, but it’s a 50/50 split between tattoo and supporting a homeless organization. God doesn’t want you to sacrifice fun for him. He wants you to bring him into your fun. If you focus on God and allow him to guide you, you will be successful in ways that you may have never through been possible.

Christians are meek and cannot fight, tell that to Fedor Emelianenko, Matt Hughs, Wanderlei Silva or Chris Weidman. The list is long for Christian MMA fighters, and then there are thousands of Christian men and women in the armed forces. I will quote Pastor Bob Beeman when asked a question of do I have to give up metal music to be Christian, “I think you will find that your love of music will only increase, I know mine sure has.” He also went on to say that the bands specificly that will be a personal conviction.

I know in my walk from Satanism to Christianity there were only a few bands that I stopped listening to and they were Cradle of Filth and Diocide. Later I have replaced them with bands like Demon Hunter, War of Ages and many other Rock groups. My taste in music did not change as much as the taste in what substance I was taking in.

Now I did cut out a lot of things that were not healthy when I converted to Christ, and still fight with cutting a few more things out. Let me let you know a little secret, none of us are perfect. The preacher on stage every Sunday, nope not even him. We are perfected through Grace alone. Through Jesus we have been perfected, not through any act of our own. Don’t believe Hell’s pretty lies, there are a lot of actors, PR guys and lawyers down there to help them out.

God loves you, let him celebrate with you and you will find that Christians can have quite a bit of fun, when they let themselves.

“There should be only one philosophy: Living by God’s commandments. Then people will treat everybody how they would want to be treated.” Fedor Emelianenko

GodForgives.Us

Mustard Seed of Faith

And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, you of little faith?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a dead calm. Matthew 8:26

I have been blessed as of late with many things of God and once again taken back by the awesome that is God. I have met people and have had conversations that I could not have had without him. I have been given a wealth of words to put to paper that I will get credit for, when they truly are not my words. Dead asleep by midnight and awake again with words to write by 1am.

Through these encounters however I have been given insight that can build towards a bit of wisdom. One of the people that I have had the pleasure to meet recently is a man named Jeff Harsbarger, a man whose walk to Christ was very like my own, he just returned to Christ 25 years before I did. Listening to some of his words a quote really moved me because of the truth of it, “Too many Christians are concerned with reacting to the Devil, when all they have to do is respond to God.”

There is a truth in that statement of true power. I’m sure that had something to do with the inspiration for this topic. I have talked about faith quite a few times, but this time I want to focus on a few different examples. In the Bible, Jesus tells us time and time again just how powerful Faith is, and even among his disciples who are right there with him, how little faith we can have.

Jesus tells us that with faith the size of a mustard seed a mountain can be tossed into the sea. Jesus tells us that all he does, he does in faith of the Father. The only time that he was not able to do miracles of magnitude was in his home town with doubt and fear around him. There were more people that did not believe than there were believers I feel.

Even with that though, he was able to heal the sick. I have pondered on the parable of the mustard seed more than once and I often asked why a mustard seed was used. We are told that it is a very small seed and it grows into a tree large enough for birds to take nest there. In this there is a deeper meaning of why Christ chose the mustard seed.

Each of us starts with a seed of Faith within us. This seed is watered and nurtured and eventually begins to sprout with proper care, just as any other seed does. This begins to grow in us and develops roots. This seed is the seed of our faith. It sprouts within us and begins to grow. Even in its infancy there is power in that faith.

From the beginning we are called to just draw closer to God through love. We are told that we have been brought into God’s covenant and that he is our tower of refuge. We are told that our faith from the beginning is powerful enough to move mountains. We have a hard time keeping this in our minds when the seas are not calm.

Even the disciples had fears and doubts, we are not perfect. Only Jesus was perfect, and we are made perfect through Christ Jesus. I tell you though, Jesus is right, faith the size of a mustard seed is capable of changing the world. Many times it is changed in ways that we do not recognize or realize.

The faith that we have in God is what keeps us safe. It is what keeps us on track with God’s purpose. How can faith of a mustard seed change the world, by continual growth and willingness to listen to God’s will and purpose. Demons had no power with Christ. Christ dwells within us. The demons even feared the Son of God and begged him. How can they have power of us if Christ dwells within us?

Without faith the sea will remain rough. Without taking up your cross daily and walking with God daily we neglect that patch of dirt that our seed is planted in and allows weeds to grow in to choke out our faith. Ever diligent and ever faithful will we keep to what God wishes for us.  I have been encouraged by what God has taught me through the words he has blessed me with. These things are not mine, it’s a God thing.

What keeps us where the devil wants us? Doubt and fear. The only power that he has over us relies in us forgetting that he has no power over us. “Greater is he that dwells in us than dwells in the world.” I may sound like a broken record, but Faith is that important.

When I was an Occultist there was a question that was asked constantly, “How does magic work?” The answer is one that Christians will be familiar with, through the belief that it will be done. It is our human will that puts forth our belief and our faith that something will be done. We believe that we are protected in Christ and have faith in the father and it is done.

It is not that we are making it happen, we believe in the truths that we have been told in the bible and through the testimonies of those far more wise than we are. I am still a toddler in my walk with God. Even at this point though there is power in the faith that has been built within me that no one can take from me, save the Lord.

Job is always a hard read for me because of all he goes through. And I understand that it is supposed to be a testament to endurance and perseverance, but honestly not many Christians want to experience what Job went through. He was blessed in the end, but went through hell on earth. In that though the encouragement that I get from it is just how much of a stalwart he was to the truth that God was God.

Job questioned why God was doing these things to him, but never denied God the right. We are his children. Job stood his ground against the devil and was blessed. I do not believe that all of us have to go through these struggles as Job did, not to that level anyway, but look at how many people were blessed by his story.

I leave with one last point. Your faith is not something to keep to yourself. Your faith is to be shared, go out and share the good news is what we are called to do as disciples. So where is the light of your faith? Do you have it tucked away under a bowl, or do you have it as a lamp for others to find the God that has blessed you? You want your mustard seed to grow into a tree; it is going to need some sun for that. You got to pull it out and that means other people will see it and want to ask you about it. That’s the scary part isn’t it, talking about your story and how you came to Christ and taking the risk that the person will reject you because you’re one of those crazy “God hates fags” people.

I would not be a Christian right now if someone had not reached out to me and shared their story. Pull your tree out of your pocket and let people see it. You don’t want to have a tree in your pocket anyway, watering it really wouldn’t be that pleasant of an experience now would it?

“We are not cisterns made for hoarding, we are channels made for sharing.” Billy Graham

GodForgives.Us

Pefect Love drives out Fear

After a truly rough night, as part of a rough month, I will have to apologize in advance that this message is going to be one that is going to leave a bit of a sour taste in all mouths that partake. When one contemplates, what are they asking? Quite simple one is asking how or why typically, however many times one is asking questions that cannot be answered by normal means.

There are many dark things in this world, and in this I will be looking at a couple of the darker things that exist. My first topic is doubt and my second topic of the day is a revelation to many of you about what demons truly are. This will not be for the faint of heart or those that do not wish to know anything about what hell is really like.

We human have what is called “Free Will” and I assure you that sometimes that is a very bad thing. It allows us to do whatever we want and of course face the consequences for those actions afterwards. In our society it is used as a teaching tool; a measuring stick; a point of disconcert; a point of hope and destruction. We have the “Free Will” to follow whatever religion we want or do not want, as well as many other choices in life.

This “Free Will” takes us down many roads in life; we each walk our own road. It does not matter how much it looks like someone else’s road, it is your own. As such we walk this road with comings and goings of different people and things as our roads intersect or run together for a while. What happens as we grow through experiencing life is we begin to pile up learned lessons.

We learn how people can be mean; how WE can be mean. We learn how people can be good and how we ourselves can be good. We learn what we like and what we do not. We learn from mistakes that our “Free Will” granted us to make. This is life. How different would we be if one of our earlier choices had been different? As each choice leads us to another, cascading, how different would we be?

Eventually we come to a point in our lives where many of us accept life for what it seems to be. We make the choice of “Well this is my lot in life. I know the role I must play.” You accept “Fate” as it were and start using your free will to choose what would be acceptable in the current situation. For many people this ends up being somewhat of a good thing. It keeps them safe, free from harm. However, for others, life just isn’t that simple.

What if you accept your role in life and it is not the role that “Fate” had determined for you. How many times do we hear the results of such situations? It can come from a sudden change in one’s life, to an unfaithful or abusive spouse. It can come from a plummeting stock market to a natural disaster. What if Life changes on you when things were supposed to happen just as they happened for your mother or father or grandparent? With all this uncertainty in life you can easily see how Doubt can breed.

Even without that it is easy to just ask the question, “Did I do the right thing?” With free will we also are faced with a very real problem. We have to make decisions for ourselves and if we make a decision and something bad happen as a result, our upbringing tells us we made the wrong one. So we make a choice, and we wait to see if it’s going to be good or bad. In the mean time we question, “Was that the right decision?”

Now some will say that doubt is an extension of fear. I can agree with that. We are afraid that we have made the wrong decision so we worry and dwell on it. So if doubt is a form of fear, then does not perfect faith drive out fear? So if we do have that faith, do we run the risk of not learning from our mistakes? Welcome to the realm of doubt.

Doubt is a very dangerous thing, which is why we are as prone to it as a race of people. We doubt ourselves, our fellow man, our government, our society, and even our God(s) if one were so inclined. So as we come to our next decision in life, still doubting our last one, we find this next decision harder than the last. The spiral continues, sometimes we come out okay; sometimes not. That in itself does not help with doubt.

We can always look back on our lives at the “Big” decisions that we made, most of us have some really bad choices that we have made in life. It’s easy to see that those were BAD ideas looking back. So why did we make them in the first place? Chances are that emotions were blocking out logic, but what if emotion had nothing to do with it when you made the bad choice? Well we will just chock that one up to a learning experience and move along, besides you can always blame it on an emotion.

How many of us begin such things, lying to yourself to make you feel better about your bad choice. How many unfaithful men and women blame it on the person they are supposed to be faithful to? The answer is most of them. Why do we do this? Simple to make us feel better. We do not like the idea that we did something wrong; it does not make us feel good.

Humans like to feel good, thus why sex addiction is the number one addiction in the world.  That is a big reason for drugs and alcohol addiction as well. Just look at the choices that people make in life. Why would anyone in their right mind think jumping off of a cliff with only a sheer piece of cloth and a few nylon strings could be a good idea? No, it’s a fun idea. It stimulates us, fear causes a flood to our brain that makes us feel good. So extreme sports, to sex, to drugs, to God, humans are addicted to feeling good, we want to feel good.

This desire leads us to great things as well as bad things. Love, for instance, is one of the greatest emotions that we humans were blessed with. No other thing feels quite as good as pure, deep love. Jesus brings us the message of love. There is no question why Paul compares the love of Christ and the love of God as a marital affair with humans. That type of love, love that you share with that special someone, is irreplaceable.  That is why we doubt when bad things happen in our lives.

As a Christian, it makes me doubt God. As a man, it makes me doubt my society, government and myself.  Very few people who commit suicide are quite like Hunter S. Thompson, who killed himself on what he considered to be one of the most beautiful and best days of his life. Most people do that out of doubt, or deeper Fear. They doubt or fear that people love them. They doubt they are good enough to live. Or they fear that life is just not worth living.

Now that we are in this dark place, let’s go a little further shall we? I know that many Christians see demons as manifestations of doubt, fear, anger, and lust. I know that many people believe that is all a demon is. It’s part of your psyche that has manifested itself as mental illness or depression. If that were true the world would be a much better place.

If that is your belief then please stick around for the rest of the show. I tell you here and now that demons are not just figments of your psyche. They are NOT just depression, worry and concern. No, no. These are all byproducts of their work. Hateful little buggers they are. Now, I step into a space that I am nervous to go back into. However my doubts and fears in my life are not that I will succumb to these as much as just fade to a bad memory. I walk this dark path because my “Free Will” took me straight to the fires of hell.

I walked a path that I hope none are following, but I know you are. Demons are real, spiritual manifestations of all the darkness of the world. When Lucifer rose up in heaven, took 1/3^rd of the angels with him. They fell into a dark place, void and lacking form. They still remembered how to shape the void. They made areas of darkness, cold places. They made places of sand with palaces of gold. They made many things in this place. They made demons as these fallen angels were twisted by their failure. They were twisted by their doubt. They were twisted by their anger and hatred.

They are really not so different from humans. That is the scary part. Some demons were made by the fallen angels from energy that they possess. Others, well they were human once. Their souls tormented in the pit below by these angry spirits until humanity is ripped away leaving only your vices. Not all demons want to do physical harm to you. Some just want you to exploit your vices. Some of the most dangerous demons in hell just want to draw you so deep into desires of the flesh that you forget everything else.

So your grandfather, a wicked man not knowing god, did he really go to heaven? Did he go to hell? How long until he becomes a demon if he did? That is their goal. They want you to become JUST like them. Are you beautiful and love to seduce? You pride yourself on how irresistible you are? Good, they know just the job for you. Are you an angry man, hell bent on the laws and rules? You follow them to the letter? Even the Books of Law, and are stern and unforgiving? Great… we know just where to put you.

If you didn’t catch that last one, let me spell it out for you. Those who do not know the love of God are blind to the true face of God and you are going to go straight down. Some of you are great preachers and are doing such a great service to the agents of evil. Lucifer awards you with employee of the year. Westborough Baptist, this means you. Judge not lest ye be judged comes to mind.

Demons are very dangerous things. They will try to convince you that they are good, or that they can give you what you want. They whisper in your ear when you don’t think they are. Many times that you think they are whispering, they’re not, they already planted that seed. They will trade with you, work on you and try to make a place in your soul for themselves. You let them in, guess what, they now live there and can invite whoever they want to their parties.

Helping a guy out, you offer him a room. Next thing you know, there is a crack-whore having sex on your kitchen table in front of your children. Yeah, demons are like that. Sometimes humans can be worse. Some demons actually have in their mind that they are trying to help humans. They want to free us from our bondage of slavery. Their hatred for God has twisted them to believe that God is a very hateful and vengeful being that just wants to destroy us. Really nice guys huh? Place gifts at your feet, give you everything they can to get you to see the light.

I warn you, sometimes that sexy supermodel that you see in your dreams is really a demon feeding your desires. Sometimes when you dream of that cute co-worker they are tempting you to do the wrong thing, and sometimes they are doing it to that cute co-worker as well. Sometimes however, that is just your own desires of the flesh running off with you. Take ownership of your weakness. Satan will do his job. Humans have a proven track record to do the wrong thing all on our own. Sorry, but that is the ugly truth.

You cannot hate Satan for what he is doing. You should expect it from him. He’s doing the only thing he knows how to do. What you should really focus on is yourself. What can you do? Life sucks, you have yourself and all your bad habits, PLUS you have the demons trying to give you more, and you have your own temptations. How could a human walk through life and really be happy? Now there is a million dollar question.

So where is the silver lining? Why have I spent so much time beating your psyche down? I find myself asking the same question sometimes. Does any of this have a purpose? My answer is, “I hope it does.” As for this, I want you to go away thinking about your life and how trapped you may be. I want you to think if you are really happy. If you are, I am happy for you. Life is hard enough when it’s just life. Do not walk into the darkness; there are things there that will break your mind. You cannot unsee what you see. Hell is real, demons are as well, and they will open their arms to you just as fast as God.

It is a slippery slope. One step will lead to ten. Do not open that door just to peek inside, once they see you without the mask of innocence on your face, they will come running. Even death will not bring freedom from them. The only thing that can is God. The only remedy for fear is love. You cannot scare someone into love either. The only peace that I have is with the love that I share with my wife and my Lord. Its dark right now, I know God is there, I just wish he stood but just a little closer. Until then, it is the love of my wife that keeps me going.